Thursday, March 27, 2008
As I took the trash out this morning, I felt the wet grass on my feet. It made me picture a calm "me"- in flowing, flowery, girly attire- my hair a long, silky mass of glossy, bouncy curls- walking across the dew kissed, grassy area of my own little private garden (that is just outside the sunny sewing room in my dreams).
For a moment... I let go of my frustration at my husband for disrupting my plans today, I released my pent up irritation at G's aggressive tendencies lately; the pressure valve on my heart popped open and I breathed in the freshness of the morning air, filling up on sunshine to sprinkle throughout my day. Even the foggy mantle of exhaustion dissipated - the last few days (of working at 4:00 am and nursing little Joy-Joy on and off all night for the past week- some growth spurt!) passed peacefully into the past.
As I turned to go back inside, I caught sight of the park- with it's giant rising moon and little grassy knolls- it called to mind gratitude for friends. After a moment of sadness (missing Suzanne and Ava), I smiled, enjoying the memory of my "day off" yesterday, just relaxing at the park with the Kilers. Working in a service capacity again has really allowed me to feel ok with being in the moment.
G has just bounced into the living room, dressed in cute little black peddle pushers and a summery hot pink tank, silkscreened with some tropical graphic. She wants me to help her wrap Ava's gift "because even if we aren't still going to see Ava, it needs to be done." I am so proud of her, she is dealing with so many changes right now, and she is teaching herself to read right in the middle of it all!
I can hear Joy-Joy's little snorts and sniffles that signal her return to alertness.
And I, the calm and confidant woman who wandered in the garden of her imagination for a moment this morning (while taking out the trash!) am ready to face another day in paradise.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Once again I find myself NAK (nursing at keyboad, for those of you not in the know) -Joy is kickin like crazy with her tiny toes!! G is out at the movies with her grandma Bernie and Shawn is calling on his resume submissions.
The past couple of days I have been reviewing our new curriculum from Oak Meadow- it looks to be perfect for our styles- her learning, my teaching... we'll start it on Monday. I planned it out and we will finish 1st grade right before the holidays. Who says school years have to begin in the fall and finish in Spring. I think we'll just go by the calendar year for our little private school.
I am loving our new homeschool group and G loves her new skating class...
G misses Ava, but enjoys seeing her cousins more ... tonight we are joining them for some astronomy thing at their school.
Oh and I started work at Starbucks on Tuesday. I train again tomorrow and Sunday.
Life is change.
Joy is fussy...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
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Monday, March 03, 2008
Grandma Bernie watched the girls, then I took them to park day in Orange. The park is great and the moms were welcoming- Grace liked playing with the kids, Joy did her nurse, sleep, repeat routine- first in a borrowed beach chair, and again in the borrowed sling of Casey- a mom I met a couple years ago (remember the one I always told you about, Suzanne? With the little dog, Gypsy, and the beautiful free-spirited girls?) The group is a well established, diverse and casual- we also ran in to our old friends, Indy & Army **waves to Michelle!**)
I am excited to have found a great Yahoo Group as I search for the perfect garment to help Joy and I to share Grace's homeschool journey- sling, rebozo, carrier... I've been researching them all- even styled my own from the beautiful red/black sarong I got in Mexico. It's a bit small, so I really would love to get a Moby, and some sort of ring sling- a Maya, a Gypsy Mama or perhaps make my own? The women of the group are generous and knowledgeable, they also seem to be quite the crafty bunch, I look forward to meeting them in person...
Tomorrow we are off to a west OC parkday in Huntington Beach. We attended last week and Grace made a friend- named Casey, also, actually. This time our old friends who are back from Colorado **grins, Steph** will be coming also... Grace is excited to see Nick, because he makes her laugh. I sure wish I already had one of those baby carriers...
Yesterday I had dinner with my mom and dad- she got KFC, where I had my first job. It made me feel light hearted and youthful. It was great to see Grace sharing Webkinz World with her "Gaga", because my mom actually gets into it with her playing games and showing genuine excitement over the things Grace had done to elliot's room. **hugs, mom**
I finally unpacked Joy's baby blanket and it is calling me to get it finished it now, reminding me that I am eager to see the ladies of my Knit-Tea-ing circle for this month's gathering.
As I quickly read over my post, I realized that I am surrounded by women, who make me feel supported and confidant. It's very nice during this time of transition.
Are you a puzzler? Want to trade?