Grace's 1st Grade Experience, etc

So far this year we have done a lot of in the moment, review, reading and math practice. She is still only 6 years old I keep reminding myself! She is enrolled in an enrichment program on Thursdays where she learns Spanish through play, guitar, clarinet, hip hop and tap. The kids bring a lunch and move between classes in the dance studio where the program is held. She loves it so far and is really learning a lot- she drew and labelled her guitar, made up her own song, tried out a flute, trumpet and recorder before settling on the clarinet and she is making friends!

I really want to get Joy in a baby signing class and both the girls in swim programs (Joy in a Mommy & Me so I can get in the water some too!) but I have been working 40 hours a week at Starbucks. I open the store at 4:30am 4 days a week and work a mid-shift on Saturdays. I got transferred to Fashion Island and have an interview planned for the end of the month for Assistant Manager... but... well I don't really want to get promoted! I want to cut back to 20 hours and be with my kids more!! Shawn has also been putting in a LOT of hours at OC Nissan and working really hard, doing well; making ok $, but it just isn't worth the hours if I still have to work towards management to provide that stable base.

Soooo... he talked them into allowing him to work less hours and we will see what happens- this week certainly went better. I was able to get more than 3-4 hours of sleep a day unlike the previous few weeks. Joy was sleeping well until we started this crazy schedule now she wakes up every couple of hours to nurse and she is teething so she can be quite a handful when you are barely conscious and trying to listen to a 6 year old with no front teeth sounding out letters.

Grace has been such a tremendous help, so thoughtful and considerate- making me sandwiches or warming me leftovers when I get home from work, so I can feed the baby. She often watches over Joy so I can do chores or even rest for a bit. I really like the little girl she is becoming. She has quite the fashion sense and she loves to design clothes for herself and Joy- maybe in the spring we'll put together a unit study around fashion design.

Life is back on TV. I like that.

baby in the bjorn

daddy's girl

This moment

"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?"

Today was a good day. I worked a full shift and boy was it FULL! For a moment in the afternoon it slowed down and I glanced out at the people who were in my Starbucks store. I watched as a woman about my age walked out clutching her beverages, hurrying past the elderly couple who come in most afternoons taking a table for two against the window, paper napkins spread out on the table under the sandwiches she makes at home, their Venti 1- tea bag Tazo Awake Hot Black Teas towering between them as they watch the world go by; a 10 year old-ish boy circled the display near them, his father perused the retail merchandise on a nearby shelf, and a young couple stood snuggling in the corner behind him waiting for their beverages to be crafted and called out by our fiery red-headed barista (the real red-head, not the "out of a box" one).

I felt empathetic - sensing a bit of what their visit to the little corner of the world I like to call work was for them. I remembered how much I enjoyed stopping into the SJC Starbucks on an almost daily basis for my favorite boss of all time, Leslie. I felt the importance of my "silly little job"- I felt a desire to provide an "experience" for them.

The man and his son reached the counter and set an orange traveller mug down on the counter. I asked if it was a gift for Mothers Day to which dad answered yes a little sheepishly, I could tell he would have liked to do more. as I poured his Tall Coffee I mentioned our pretty pink flowery gift cards and the new rewards program that went with them and asked if he'd like to get her one so she could fill up her new cup. He asked about registering it and I knowledgeably explained the process to him (having just done one for Grace so she can buy her own Frappucinos!) as we were talking I asked if he wanted it bagged with some tissue paper and managed to quickly whip out a presentable looking present and lent him my pen so he and his son could sign the gift sleeve of the lucky mom's new Starbucks Card. I felt like I was in a training video as he said goodbye and my next customer (a regular) stepped up and I greeted her by name, writing out a cup from memory as she commented on my haircut and how becoming it was (I have once again embraced the curl!)

Just moments later, as I transitioned onto "the bar" to "steam milk", "pull shots", and "blend Frappucinos", a darling little face popped up at the handoff counter. Grace and Shawn stopped in to pick up the milk that I had pumped on my break- a quick 30 minutes which I divided between the aforementioned labor of love and sitting on the patio with my MP3 player eating Daphne's pita & fire feta appetizer. After I finished making the lattes, a caramel macchiato and iced mocha that had lined up along the shiny stainless steel strip that runs in front of the Verismo 801- I grabbed the bottle from my purse, handed it to hubby and kissed my family before "sliding" back to my originally "deployed" position at the register. (Don't you love the lingo that goes with any large company?)

I survived the drama filled afternoon- the politics that go with the personalities that my paycheck provider attracts- and connected with a partner who was recently promoted, admiring his ability to be pleasant and professional under pressure.

After I got off I sat in the sun with my "partner beverage" (aka free drink!) an "upside down" iced caramel macchiato and blared Jason Mraz's Mr A- Z straight to my brain while completing a crossword puzzle, sitting cross-legged in the sun waiting for Shawn to pick me up. My knight arrived in our shining vehicle- almost completely clean, with barely any bundles of baby baggage or lingering litter from a little girl. We came "home" (where the heart is) and I sat out front nursing little Joy-Joy as G & Shawn finished vacuuming and polishing the car.

This part of my life... this part right here? This is called "happyness."

Barefoot in the Park

We finally made it back to the park today! It was a lovely afternoon, and Shawn decided to come too. The baby was happy to hang out in my lap and I snapped the following with my phone

Best of Both Worlds

Today's hot topic- Miley Cyrus' Vanity Fair photo shoot; here's an AP New Story link which quotes carefully crafted comments from publicists who are doing their jobs well, in creating these curiousity quenching headlines for their clients. As the parent of a soaking sponge of a 6 year old, I am seeing Miley's appeal seeping into my own set of circumstances.

Miley and the character she plays on TV are poised between two worlds, both the girl and her sitcom caricature innocently unfolding with mature confidence and an easy going smile. She balances out the Cyrus family name's blips on the radar of fame- her explosion countering (and reviving) her one-hit wonder dad, Billy's achy breaky 60 seconds. Young Ms Cyrus' stance, in this sensationalized situation is respectable, the fact that it is happening- completely expectable. She is getting older and the fans keep getting younger, because there are always new recruits to the army of Hannabees, a Disney "attraction" aimed at a specific demographic. G is on the youngest side of the fanbase of an aging act. In my role as mommy I am pulled to monitor and (attempt to) control the influence of G's exposure.

Watching an aspect of Miley's entrance into adulthood on the great stage of fame, I connect with her- I empathize with the vulnerability that she shows in the offending portrait. As an occasional reader of Vanity Fair, I am drawn to the story and I find myself siding with VF's desire to capture and portray Miley's moment of perfect balance- between adolescence and adulthood. Balance and the best of both worlds is what we all seek as we experience the life that happens while pursuing happiness. I want to see what Annie Liebowitz saw through her lens and digitally depicted. In my role as woman I am drawn to run out and get this magazine as soon as it hits the stands (consumer that I am) and read all about it!

As so many of us do I also get to balance my two worlds- currently that means being a socially productive worker and a fun fabulous family mommy. I am looking forward to an adventure with my daughter as we go to the library to gawk at and peruse the glossy pages together (sharing her exposure, but not shielding her from it!) AND I get to feel like a responsible adult for saving a little room in the landfills (and my-working-girl-self a few dollars). I guess I'll have to buy something useful and necessary that is advertised on the pages of Vanity Fair to balance it all out, so all the publicists involved in the photo spread that is focused on Miley Cyrus' bare back will be happy. I do feel a bit manipulated by this whole circus and all the media's "reporting" (read: "advertising") ...

I do get the best of both worlds.

Turn on your speakers if you are viewing my blogsite directly a balanced selection of the progression of Miley's sensational singing should be playing now. Country with dad, Disney's Hannah and the song I felt she was way too sexy performing on AI Gives Back a couple weeks ago. (here's a link to that playlist, current music has been changed!)

This morning at my home...

Being a working girl again, (I know it's only 20 hours a week, but balancing it with Joy's nursing demands, homeschooling Grace and living in someone else's house is quite taxing!) I am neglecting my blog. Appeciating my "day off" as I am, I decided to capture this memory for posterity.

As I awoke in my newly arranged room this morning, I wanted to allow myself to slow down and be in a quite moment, amidst troubled waters, experience the contentedness of my heart. After enjoying my first cup of Komodo Dragon on the patio this morning, I worked out a eloquent and emotionally touching blog to post as I had a second cup of coffee and took the following photos.

As I sat down with a fresh third cup(!) the baby began stirring, so my pictures will have to speak their thousands of words directly to your unique perspective. Enjoy a slice of life on me! Then take a moment and capture - even if only in mental photos - a moment of your life now. Touch on the things that you treasure.

Home is where the heart is.



A contented heart is quite amidst troubled waters.

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

As I hit save it is 11:02, G has gotten up the other 2 remain as pictured!

On Being Happy

Create a vision of yourself and simulate it whenever possible.

As I took the trash out this morning, I felt the wet grass on my feet. It made me picture a calm "me"- in flowing, flowery, girly attire- my hair a long, silky mass of glossy, bouncy curls- walking across the dew kissed, grassy area of my own little private garden (that is just outside the sunny sewing room in my dreams).

For a moment... I let go of my frustration at my husband for disrupting my plans today, I released my pent up irritation at G's aggressive tendencies lately; the pressure valve on my heart popped open and I breathed in the freshness of the morning air, filling up on sunshine to sprinkle throughout my day. Even the foggy mantle of exhaustion dissipated - the last few days (of working at 4:00 am and nursing little Joy-Joy on and off all night for the past week- some growth spurt!) passed peacefully into the past.

As I turned to go back inside, I caught sight of the park- with it's giant rising moon and little grassy knolls- it called to mind gratitude for friends. After a moment of sadness (missing Suzanne and Ava), I smiled, enjoying the memory of my "day off" yesterday, just relaxing at the park with the Kilers. Working in a service capacity again has really allowed me to feel ok with being in the moment.

G has just bounced into the living room, dressed in cute little black peddle pushers and a summery hot pink tank, silkscreened with some tropical graphic. She wants me to help her wrap Ava's gift "because even if we aren't still going to see Ava, it needs to be done." I am so proud of her, she is dealing with so many changes right now, and she is teaching herself to read right in the middle of it all!

I can hear Joy-Joy's little snorts and sniffles that signal her return to alertness.

And I, the calm and confidant woman who wandered in the garden of her imagination for a moment this morning (while taking out the trash!) am ready to face another day in paradise.